The House Without Duchess
by Fancypants66
Summary: Mac and Bloo find out what the house is like without Duchess in a painful way.
1. Duchess' hissy fit

Chapter One

The House Without Duchess

By fancypants66

It was another typical day at Foster's while Mac and Bloo sat on the couch listening to a new CD that Mac bought and trying so desperately to ignore another one of Duchess' melodramatic ranting and complaining. Ordinarily, they would have up and left, rather than listen to Duchess' whining, but they needed to speak with Herriman.

"No, no, no!" said Duchess in her husky Hungarian accent. "Herriman, you are a useless rabbit! I have told you every single day that I want my needs attended to! Day in and day out, you give me a mediocre treatment, and you stick me in the ugliest room in this dump heap! I don't even see why I should have to share a dining room with all those freaks! Do you have any idea who I am! I am the Royal Duch-", but Herriman cut her off in mid sentence.

"YES, I KNOW!" he yelled, finally exasperated. At one point, he began to mimic her. "You are Her Royal Duchess Diamond Persnickety The First, Last, and Only! Why, I wonder, do you insist on making all of our lives a living nightmare!"

"What are you babbling on about? I make your lives better by being here! I grace you with my royal presence!"

"Yeah, and you make us sick with your royal presence as well" chuckled Bloo.

Duchess completely ignored him.

"I want to have a better room or else I'll-",

"You'll what? Well!" yelled Herriman

"I'll leave!" sneered Duchess. "I'll leave for good!" With that, Duchess left the room, ranting and huffing about.

♫What will Herriman do? What will Herriman do? What will Herriman♫-hokay, that's quite enough!


	2. Mac and Bloo plot

Chapter Two

Bloo immediately jumped up on his stumpy legs and exclaimed "Mr. Herriman, is Duchess really leaving?"

"Well, Master Blooregard, I don't know really, but if she does, Madame Foster, Miss Francis, and everyone within this house, will probably feel much better and I can only hope that she leaves for good and _soon_! I have had enough of her prattling on for hours on end" said Herriman. With that, he hopped off.

"Mac, are you thinking what I'm-" started Bloo.

"No, Bloo, I will not help you make a fraud out of Duchess and get her out of the house" snapped Mac. "Look, I feel the same way. Duchess is a snooty royal pain, but we can't get her to leave. Herriman would have a fit!"

"Oh, well, then" said Bloo, with a dewy smile across his face. "I suppose we'll just have to let your mom know about that time that you had the sugar"

"Oh, no, you don't!" said Mac hastily "That was YOUR fault, not mine!"

"But you ate the candy that I had-"

"No." said Mac uneasily.

"And the chocolate"

"No!" said Mac in a panicked tone.

"And you went streaking, and you bit off Gummy's ear, stole Giant Baby's candy, stole Handy's candy, tee-hee, I rhymed, ate the fizzy rocks and soda, and a huge number of things that I can't recall, but am sure they are very bad!" summed Bloo.

"NOOOO!" said Mac, in a fright. "Ok, ok! I'll help you!"

"I KNEW you'd wise up!"

But what will Mac and Bloo do? Tune in next time to find out.


	3. Plans take flight!

Chapter Three

Later that night, Duchess was fast asleep in her room and Bloo and Mac snuck in incognito to plant a few of the personal items of some other residents in her clawed hands. Duchess breathed lightly out of her snorkel-like nose.

Bloo whispered "Aw, boy, she's got horrible breath!"

"Will you take it easy" hissed Mac. "Let's just plant the stuff on her and get out of here! The only way that I could leave my place was if I paid Terrence my weekly allowance. But it's worth it!"

With that, the two of them planted in her arms Wilt's sneakers, Eduardo's belt, Coco's eggs, Frankie's jacket, Herriman's monocle, and Madame Foster's cane. Doing this deed, the two sneaked out under cover of darkness and left.

And what will be of Duchess? Tune in next time to find out!


	4. Accusation

Chapter Four

The next morning, Duchess was awakened by Frankie, who appeared quite angry.

"Why do you look at me with that ugly expression, Frankie?" asked Duchess, as bitter as possible.

"Because you took my jacket" snapped Frankie. "That was my favorite jacket!"

As Duchess' eyes came into perspective better, she realized that not only Frankie was staring angrily at her, but Wilt, Eduardo, Coco, Herriman, and Madame Foster.

"Madame Duchess, why did you take my monocle?" asked Herriman crossly. "I can't see my whiskers in front of my face without it!"

"Duchess, I'm sorry, but you took my sneakers" said Wilt in an annoyed manner. "That's not cool, OK?"

"Coco coco co co co, co co co co co COCO!" said Coco, clearly angry.

"I want my belt! Waaaaaaah!" screamed Eduardo.

"Duchess, you stole all of our things. For this, I'm sorry, but we can't have you here anymore!" said Madame Foster. "You'll be transferred to the Imaginario Villa Home For Intolerably Unruly Imaginary Creatures in Italy!"

"WHAT!" everyone in the room exclaimed.

"I didn't DO those things!" shouted Duchess. "What uses have I for a pair of sneakers, a belt, a jacket, eggs, and those other things! NONE! NOW LEAVE MY ROOM! It's bad enough that you're all still here!"

"This is not your room anymore, Duchess!" said Madame Foster.

"Yes, it is! Now LEAVE! I grow bored of you!"

"I'm afraid…you don't live here anymore" said Madame Foster…

A dream come true…or is it? Tune in soon!


	5. Crated Duchess

Chapter Five

With all this going on, Madame Foster called the Home in Italy, and they sent a crate in about three or four days, which seemed like a time without end for the residents of Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends. Duchess was still in her room, taking her "beauty sleep" and with that, in a hostile takeover, the eight of them, Mac, Bloo, Coco, Wilt, Eduardo, Frankie, Madame Foster, and even Herriman overtook Duchess, and nailed her in the caged crate with a surplus of her personal belongings.

"LET ME OUT OF THIS ACCURSED CAGE!" Duchess yelled.

"I still think Baroness Barfworthy in there still needs to be put in a worse place than Italy, don't you think?" asked Bloo.

"Nope, I still think that Duchess should go back to whichever evil kid imagined her!" said Frankie, putting the chains on the cage as she spoke.

"And where is that kid?" asked Mac.

"Eh, she's somewhere in Bulgaria. She's an old lady now" said Madame Foster. "But come. Help me get this crate into the bus."

It's finally happened. Duchess may finally be gone for good!


	6. Duchess' Destination!

Chapter Six

While the brat's away, the mice will play.

With Duchess gone, the house seemed to be the thriving torrent of color and life that it had once been before she had been there.

Eduardo was braver than ever and Wilt was making the best three throws in his personal record. Coco was on the verge of regaining her sanity, even! Mac and Bloo were spending their time playing video games and Frankie's burden was lessened greatly. Herriman was on his paperwork with no trouble at all.

Meanwhile, back on the plane where Duchess was, the crew was hearing pounding as though it were coming from some enraged beast. When the crew members had gone to check the cargo hold, they saw that it was the crate with Duchess inside of it that had been pounding. In fear of it being some evil beast, the crew dumped it out smack into the nearest port of call…in a country of peasants! Duchess was thus knocked out for a good few hours.

Meanwhile, miles away, Madame Foster awoke from her sleep, to say "I sense a disturbance in the Force!" and then dozed off.

It's finally happened. Duchess may finally be gone for good!


End file.
